Saturday, October 4, 2014
Naming and giving my personal interior demons.
Hello your lovable and “ugly” components of me personally.
I’m getting this here in the Africa files. It has been quit a ride since going back. The energy was constructing and that I attended home to be there with all the deep, outdated parts of myself that we tried to run away from.
Personally I think like I am cycling around in festering pus from injuries of history. Rahasya states FEEL IT, it will move. All of final period I experienced despondent and tired. Create activity or will to move living ahead. Stress, yes. chi. not so much.
Recently Im experiencing a lot more movement.
Right here. this room would be to claim these areas of me. A lot of shame surrounds all of them.
Repression. We have repressed components of myself personally. I’ve repressed my personal sex.
Opening inside my Spirit. Unsatisfiable. not enoughness. Addiction to other people feeling complete.
Can’t do it right.
I cannot think rest adore. I can not feeling their unique love. It’s not sufficient.
Disbelief in myself personally.
I look at spirals of living continue. I really do maybe not notice change I long for. I actually do not discover changes in attitude. We see a WOUNDED youngster. I read a deep GRIEF. We see a emotionally disabled individual. I believe the pain sensation that has been store. I feel the wanting for something else entirely.
You will find a very difficult time believing. I am not graceful in getting.
Yes. I know this is an occasion where the audience is healing personal and transpersonal places. I’m sure i’m creating healing operate bigger than this solitary existence. Im thankful for your bigger perspective.
It is an untamed electricity about. Larger changes and modifications.
A Chod rehearse? giving the demons which affect me personally.
1) feel it in the torso (feelings, form, shade) 2) hey your. exactly what do you will want? 3) come to be they. Im troubled. I want compassion. (Feed it till its happy.) Engorge the caretaker fucker. 4) Feel it complete. Feel they happy. Meet an Ally.
Monday, Summer 30, 2014
conversation
someone connect with the labels instead of pursuing understanding under. watching the wholenss. holding the unMET one (maiden).
so everyone discover those identies, and go-no-further.
Let’s say you experimented with new things. Rather than discussed causing circumstances up front. An experiment
providing chance to see the appeal of the whole image (perhaps not get scared aside by singular items of lifetime). No matter what identification bit.
The whole story throws they in a field, vs a singular aim.
Among my presents try pulling the trigger out, yet they tends to be harmful in my experience.
discussion with Jacqui.
thinking to consider needless to say.
Saturday, Summer 28, 2014
ready for the next evoluation
Honoring the marching orders and is coming through the Divine.
The way I will need this feelings space, and wisdom to my Life as time goes on? ahhh.
pleased for your partners and support system You will find with this recovery trip.
they do say happiness will be the fulfillment of an objective. The area of understanding you devote your self into something, in accordance with efforts, perseverance, time what happens. The event of a brief location.
I feel satisfied with this Journey. I will be pleased for attitude of completion.
Now. travel. Paris! And a return to san francisco bay area.
Anticipating small brews, hot tubs, redwoods and also the subsequent progression. Experiencing enthusiastic and renewed in my psychological body. Me Personally.
What is in the radar. Tri’s Ritual. getting decidedly more conscious with bodily Health. examinations. honoring you. Steady Earnings. treatment giving/hospice. Death Rites. (reside in?)
in which was house? Aware people. slowly pace of lives. What does the bigger photo look like?
Answers and concerns. appears like fullness.
Thoughts to feel and places to speak into. whee.
I like your Kris, I love everyone. which as well.
Tuesday, June 27, 2014
thoughts before leaving Southern Africa.
a lovely, nice sensation space before you leave southern area Africa. End ideas start to become pondered. I found these shores scattered and disheartened. I came with the need to be noticed in order to reconnect elements of myself that happen to be left behind.
I’m today, after these several months a great deal more solid inside my key. Personally I think the joy and connections of satisfying new people, and experiencing viewed. The sweet of appointment strangers, and sensation. the “i am aware you”. resonance.
I’m revived. Renewed commit home and sort out the next thing. The renewal of religion and Hope of your large strange games we bring called Life. I feel the guts and power it took permitting my self in the future right here. to a spot across the world. (learning to render myself personally some credit).
I’m seriously pleased for those who linked to myself the last 8 weeks. When it comes to brand new friends and old. Many thanks.
Getting excited about scuba diving into this then phase of adventure. Thinking a life of position, and appearance. with like.
Appreciation.
We arrived in an attractive room in Johannesburg.
Therefore, maybe endings can cause best circumstance. Area for believe.
I will be feeling content and full within South African quest.
today within the extra section.
I believe the creativity for the further cycle birthing. What I in the morning labeled as to check to then.
Growing. from a good center.
Thursday, Summer 26, 2014
Good Bye Cape Area.
You’re a strong fuel area.
Thanks a lot for revealing the beauty, and motivation.
I experienced an attractive breakfast with Rahasya. He generated wonderful omelets. A flavorsome handle. A sweet achievement to the healing adventure.
There’ll be extra to search into, but personally i think rejuvenated today. I feel much more able. I believe an affirmation of my ability to undertake this existence.
I believe renewed in my inspiration to succeed in sense me. .
Monday, Summer 23, 2014
today we progress up purrring.
A beautiful research of Feminine and Masculine stamina upon mature quality singles waking. Appreciating Shima and Simon in reflection of energetic dancing.
therefore if the girly holds the larger picture, and the Masculine implements activity towards (in-service)
feeling the bond I experienced using the Feminine (passionately) in my 20’s. Rebelliously. Counter-dependently. plenty natural power. I drawn visitors, yes. however we me was the crazy disorder of injury and *angry* expression in edgy form.
They crumbles with deeper youth stress though. dozens of areas of passion, all inspiration : deadlocked at some point with regards to achieves the limit of ________________.
I am experiencing the sense of full of energy fool around with other people who feeling current.
