by Sarah Chevallier
Label: Holden Caulfield get older: 19 job: “Jobs” are actually for phonies whom “care” about phony things like “bills” and “food” About Holden: simply in search of relaxed romance, because everyone’s a bogus with the exception of myself (clearly). Sidebar, I’m not entirely sure that “phony” indicates everything I assume it indicates.
Name: Heathcliff Get Older: Actually little idea. Career: Mergers (in my enemies’ groups) and purchases (inside plethora and well-being). About Heathcliff: put a number of years growing that #RevengeBody and even #RevengeWealth, now I’m seeking a nice, gullible female to settle downward with, ideally a person who just happens to be related my own adversary, exactly who also simply is actually married to the child friend. You know, for regular, entirely definitely not nefarious causes.
List: Odysseus generation: 38 profession: King of Ithaca that’s 100percent without having a midlife problem About Odysseus: I’m everything about that wanderlust lifetime: it’s concerning journey, definitely not the resort, you know? Particularly if the getaway is loaded with “responsibilities” like “governance,” “parenthood,” read this and “marriage to lady who is clearly smarter than me personally as she evades sold like erotic chattel for a decade while we doof around banging arbitrary witches and blinding one-eyed leaders.” Join up myself of the trip, newly born baby.
Brand: Edward Rochester Years: 43 Profession: Wealthy widower. Yep, the existing basketball and sequence is actually lifeless. Real useless. Definitely not now throughout my basement becoming restricted with a genuine basketball and sequence. About Edward: Looking for a younger woman who may mistakes my favorite brooding looks and condescending misanthropy for awful torment, and essentially is into employer-employee roleplay. Bonus offer if she loves your children yet not sufficient that she’s delay by just how hostile I am just to my favorite used child.
Term: winner Frankenstein generation: 34 job: physician, scientist About winner: wanting somebody exactly who offers my own determination for any mysteries of lifetime but would become upwards for a continual quest to recapture and eliminate simple earlier roommate from simple era with the University of Ingolstadt. Feeling of venture is crucial, because we write for all the North Pole next week.
Identity: Jay Gatsby Age: what age are you wanting me to be lol Occupation: Influencer, Renaissance boy About Jay: I’m weirdly comparable to your ex partner, but like a fabulously prosperous and mysterious type of him or her that you will never have left with no GODDAMN CAUSE to start with, Daisy.
Term: Rodion Raskolnikov period: 21 career: pupil, incredible people whom on paper it would be absolutely ok if they just murdered an old dame, because after all, he’s incredible, however understand, only on paper you should don’t contact which means that policeman whom keeps snooping all around. About Rodion: I’m only a better-than-regular man searching for a practically angelically great wife with a tragic story who can with no good reason dedicate by herself to your redemption which is truly into enjoying me reciting my personal half-baked attitude 101 “theories.”
Mention: Jake Barnes Age: 31 Occupation: Expat, alcoholic About Jake: extra manly. Certainly, certainly, not really impotent. Really into boating and obsessing around intimate and intimate selections of a lady who is absolutely just someone (nevertheless recognize, not the same who’s able to make her very own selection, because of that goddamn ladybrain). First and foremost: perhaps not Jewish.
Name: Hamlet years: 26 Occupation: Future master of Denmark About Hamlet: Family happens to be every single thing for me. As in, I won’t sleep until I tear my children, partners, as well as actually my own country aside predicated on a discussion I had in my dad’s soul about how it’s such TOTAL that mothers and Uncle C are performing they, and then he conformed it’s totally normal that I’m therefore fixated to my mother’s sex-life. Simple finally girlfriend amn’t that comprehension, thus I’m looking an individual who will supporting me personally inside tough time and will never get a fucking cow whenever we thrust this model father and verbally abuse this lady.
Call: Lucifer young age: Certainly not Applicable Occupation: Ex-angel, private opposing forces of God and the development About Lucifer: I really designed online dating services, thus thank you for visiting underworld.
